Lately...

As I write this, we are soaking up the sun and drinking margarita's in San Diego.  And I know that we are having a blast.  I will share all about it when we get back, but I thought I would let you know what we've been up to before our trip!

First of all, check out this email from my sweet husband.  Seriously, I have a keeper. 

And he's right...God has always had it planned, and He's not going to stop now.  It would be offensive for me to not trust that!

At Jack's daycare, they celebrated summer birthday's this past week.  I brought cupcakes and we all sang to Jack.  And he thought it was just grand.  Seriously.  I guess he's seen this happen with all of the other kids so he was a pro.

On Thursday this week, I just had to finish packing up my room.  So Jack and I took our time in the morning, folding clothes while watching the Today show and stopping for doughnuts.  My boy loves him some doughnuts.  And I love time with my Jackie.

Here's my room all packed up.  This has been such a rough week for me emotionally.  I love my job.  I love working with middle school kids.  And I never thought I would leave this job after a year.  Seeing my room all empty and bare was so hard. 

Here's my buddy boy on the first day of school this year and the last.  

Ohmylanta, has he grown!  Bech and I watched some old iphone videos the other night.  He has gone from a little baby, barely walking and saying so few words, to a toddler who runs and jumps and talks in complete sentences.  

I will be back soon with some pictures of San Diego!

Moving Stress

And again it's been a while since I posted!  Thank you all for your sweet blog and facebook comments about our move.  It was fun to realize that so many of y'all had Pennsylvania connections.  I am sure I will be asking some of y'all lots of questions in the comings weeks!

I have had a crazy past couple of weeks.  School is ending.  Actually yesterday was the student's last day and today and tomorrow the teachers are just working in their classrooms.  

I am so sad to leave this job.  I knew that I would like teaching middle school Latin, but I didn't realize how much!  I absolutely love my kids and I love my jobs.  I love the school I teach at.  I love taking Jack to daycare when I go to school and running over to the Lower School once a day to check in on him.  I am going to miss this job so much!

I am really struggling right now with the move.  I think it's because, for the first time, I have nothing set up in our new spot.  We moved to Malawi first and foremost because I wanted to go back.  We both wanted to move to Jackson, but I got my job at First Pres there before we moved.  We moved to Vermont for my graduate school.  Even though we were planning to move to Baton Rouge for the special student program at LSU, I already had my current job lined up by the end of March.

For once, I have nothing set in stone in Pennsylvania.  I have applied for several jobs and plan on applying for many more in the coming weeks.  But there are no Latin teaching jobs in that area.  

And, to be really honest, this is hard.  I am willing to do whatever so that we complete Bech's graduate program debt free (he already has a stipend and free tuition).  And I know that God will provide me with a job (He always has, wherever we have moved!).  

But even though I know all of this, I am still stressing out.  

Here are some old school Caedmon's Call lyrics that always comfort me when I am stressing out and doubting God's provision:

Well this day's been crazy

But everything's happened on schedulefrom the rain and the coldTo the drink that I spilled on my shirt'Cause You knew how You'd save mebefore I fell dead in the gardenAnd You knew this daylong before You made me out of dirt 
And You know the plans that You have for me And You can't plan the end and not plan the means And so I suppose I just need some peaceJust to get me to sleep.

Anyway, sorry for such a downer of a post!  I would love any and all prayers (and job offers...just kidding...mostly!).

Christmas Eve

“ A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

2012 has been a tough year.  To be honest, I am just a little bit weary of brokenness and sadness.

I am so ready for the time when, as Tolkien and Sally Lloyd Jones put it, "everything sad will come untrue."

But in the midst of this year, I have enjoyed countless moments of laughter, hugs, love, and joy.  I have seen the love of the Church and the provisions of God.  I have cuddled my son, spent time with my family, and rejoiced with my family as we get ready to welcome a new in-law!

And tonight, I will celebrate the birth of a little baby 2,000 years ago--a little baby who came to redeem this broken world. 

"He will make everything the way it was always meant to be."

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!

"And, one day, when he comes back to rule forever, the mountains and trees will dance and sing for joy!  The earth will shout out loud!  His fame will fill the whole earth--as the waters cover the sea!  Everything sad will come untrue.  Even death is going to die!  And he will wipe away every tear from every eye."

The Jesus Storybook Bible

When I was in 8th grade, I had a teacher for math who I loved. I thought he was wonderful. He taught us math, but he also talked to us a lot about other things in life. The summer after 8th grade, it came out that he had, over the course of several years, been molesting teenage boys from our schools. I was devastated. I feel like it was a defining moment in my life, of realizing that people aren't always who you believe them to be, that sometimes your heros have totally screwed up their lives.

I'm not as naive as that anymore, but yesterday was still really hard. Go here to read about it. Pete's first year as a counselor was my second year as a kamper (Barn 4, K-Kountry). I loved Pete and thought he was amazing. It's just hard to realize that he wasn't who I thought he was. So please pray for the boys involved in the investigation. Pray for his wife, Katie, who is wonderful. Pray for his daughter Riley. And pray for the many, many, many kids (and even people my age) who are feeling totally betrayed. I can't even begin to describe the amount of kids who would claim Pete as being someone who impacted their life. I know they are probably going through so many emotions right now. And also pray for Kanakuk. Kanakuk is an amazing place. The fact that Pete was able to do this while working for Kanakuk does not show the kamp as being lax, but rather Pete as being pretty crafty. Because Kanakuk is an amazing place and it changes the lives of so many kids. I don't want parents not to send their kids to kamp because of this (although I know it will be hard as a parent to trust Kanakuk after this).

...

It's finally done with...we sold the car!!! We heard that the people wanted it for sure last week, but we waited til everything had been transfered to put it on the blog. We had just been jilted (okay, so maybe jilted is way too strong of a word to use!) so many times last minute, that we wanted to have it all done just to feel sure. But the couple we sold it to is the sweetest couple!

So here is one last look at our Toyota Carina, called, "the Shaba." (after Alan Shaba, the man who helped us find it)

And here is the couple who bought it. This is Josh and Rebecca Harper. Josh's mom works at the ABC office in Clinton and basically is amazing. She takes care of getting all of the missionaries their money each month plus a bajillion other things!

We got to meet Josh and Rebecca when they came last spring to visit Malawi. They decided to come spend the next year in Malawi. Josh is teaching many of my old classes and Rebecca is teaching the 4 year old preschool (called Reception over there). Anyway, we think they are both just great, and are excited that they have bought our car.

It's amazing to see what God's plans are. We were so stressed and upset to have not sold our car before we left. But now I wouldn't have wanted to sell it to anyone else and in any other way. God is good...if I have learned anything this year, its that God is good.

p.s. Josh and Rebecca, if ya'll are reading this...I stole this picture off Rebecca's facebook...sorry!

p.p.s. My brother has the flu/swine flu...not sure which one :( So pray for him, and pray that the rest of my family doesn't get it. Katy, Mom, Bech, and I have all been around him.

I have really been struggling with faith lately. I have posted on this blog about our car that we were trying to sell before we left. If you have read those posts, you know that twice we have had people who wanted our car and weren't able to get the money together. Well the morning we left, Bech met with an Australian business man who decided to buy our car. He was going to transfer the money from his Australian account to our American one. It didn't work. He says the bank is not letting him do that.

So we are back at square one...the car isn't sold. The money from the car is going to be used to pay taxes, put deposits down and pay our first months rent, and just get our apartment set up. Plus, Bech had to go see the doctor on Monday and had some minor laser surgery on his eye (which was not covered by our insurance!). We are stressed about money, but it's not like we don't have it! It's just in Africa in the form of a car.

I have to remind myself that if I really believe what I say, that God is in control, that He is sovereign, that He loves me and will take care of me, then I need to let this go. I need to just totally trust Him in this area. So please pray. Pray that our car will sell, but more than that, please pray for my heart (and Bech's heart as well). Pray that I will trust God to care for me, just as He has cared for me this past year in Africa and throughout my whole life.

Finally, I want to share some lyrics. These are from Hold It Up to the Light, by David Wilcox (one of my favorite musicians ever). He is talking about making a decision, but it is a great reminder to have faith.

"I said God, will you bless this decision?

I'm scared, Is my life at stake?

But I see if you gave me a vision

Would I never have reason to use my faith?"

Vocation

Bech spoke to the junior high and high school chapel the other day. He was SUPER nervous (Bech hates public speaking) but his talk was great. He talked about vocation, and it really got me thinking.

First of all, he said that the term vocation comes from the latin term "vocare," which means to call. It was applied to men in the middle ages who felt called by God to become monks. Vocation was used for a calling within the church. I like that because I feel that our jobs, whether they be with or outside of a church, should and are callings from God.

Bech and I have been talking about vocation a lot lately, because we are trying to figure out what we are supposed to do with our lives. I feel like often times in our world, the Christian community still only thinks of God calling you to a job if it is within the church or a ministry of some sort. But Paul says that whatever we do, we should do it for the glory of God. Therefore our lives are a calling to, to glorify God.

I also think our jobs are supposed to be enjoyable to us. The first question of the Westminster Shorter Catechism is, "What is man's primary purpose?" or "What is the chief end of man?" The answer is "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever." We are supposed to enjoy life here. I don't mean by that that life will always be fun or easy, or any of those things. I mean, that as Christians, we should enjoy work, family, community, and mostly God.

It is easy to get caught up in trying to do what you are good at. But the truth is, we are all good at several things. I envy the person who can claim to be good at only one thing...I am sure he found picking his career quite easy of a task! And I do think we should do what we are good at. In order to glorify God, we need to do things well! Look at our example! God has shown himself to be the perfect artist and scientist through creation. He is the perfect author through His words. Everything He does, He does perfectly, with absolute beauty.

I often get frustrated because Christian musicians will create music that isn't very good. They think they are glorifying God because they are making music for Him. But if anyone deserves amazing music...it's Him! So I shouldn't be a songwriter...I can't strum a guitar or carry a tune very well. And I should definitely not be an actress...I want to die in front of other people.

I feel like in order to find what we are called to be, we need to find the middle ground between what we can do well to the glory of God and what we love to do. That is what is so hard to do! It doesn't help that everyone will pick up on what you can do well...and just because you can do something, doesn't mean you love it or should work in that field. Bech was describing how, because he is a great listener (which he is), people used to tell him he should be a therapist. But he loves to make pots, and bowls, and plates. I was good at science all throughout school, so people always told me I should be a doctor. But I don't love science at all (the fact that I told my med school interviewer that I "didn't really like science" can attest to that...needless to say, I was not accepted!). This is what I am struggling with...finding how I can both glorify God and enjoy Him forever!

Alright, sorry for such a serious post...I just wanted to share the thoughts going through my head. Also, I have an update on Nya. They are in South Africa, and she is doing MUCH better. Her platelet count is up, and they might have figured out the problem. And it is raining here!!! Yay! We need rain! Rain grows maize, and maize feeds the country. I actually videod the rain, because it is coming down so hard, so I will try to upload that.