I have really been struggling with faith lately. I have posted on this blog about our car that we were trying to sell before we left. If you have read those posts, you know that twice we have had people who wanted our car and weren't able to get the money together. Well the morning we left, Bech met with an Australian business man who decided to buy our car. He was going to transfer the money from his Australian account to our American one. It didn't work. He says the bank is not letting him do that.
So we are back at square one...the car isn't sold. The money from the car is going to be used to pay taxes, put deposits down and pay our first months rent, and just get our apartment set up. Plus, Bech had to go see the doctor on Monday and had some minor laser surgery on his eye (which was not covered by our insurance!). We are stressed about money, but it's not like we don't have it! It's just in Africa in the form of a car.
I have to remind myself that if I really believe what I say, that God is in control, that He is sovereign, that He loves me and will take care of me, then I need to let this go. I need to just totally trust Him in this area. So please pray. Pray that our car will sell, but more than that, please pray for my heart (and Bech's heart as well). Pray that I will trust God to care for me, just as He has cared for me this past year in Africa and throughout my whole life.
Finally, I want to share some lyrics. These are from Hold It Up to the Light, by David Wilcox (one of my favorite musicians ever). He is talking about making a decision, but it is a great reminder to have faith.
"I said God, will you bless this decision?
I'm scared, Is my life at stake?
But I see if you gave me a vision
Would I never have reason to use my faith?"