Nighttime Prayers

Every night I give Jack a dream feed.  Basically I go get Jack out of his crib, feed him while he's asleep,then put him back into bed.

But after I feed him, I always hold him for a few minutes, just cuddling up with him on my shoulder.  And it has become absolutely the best part of my day.  I just take it all in, his warm breath on my neck, his sweet smell, his little body curled into me.

And as I snuggle with my baby, I am reminded of how blessed I am right in that moment.  

I think about the many families like Baby James' parents, parents who have lost their precious child.

I think about the many women who can't get pregnant, who have suffered various miscarriages.

I think about the many women who want so much to be married, to have the chance to become mothers.

And often I wonder, why?  Why do I get to have this healthy baby?  Why, God, have you allowed me what you have not given to so many others who so desperately want?

I am not totally sure why I am sharing these thoughts.  Maybe because I want any readers who fit into the above categories to know that I am always thinking about you.  That you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers.  I pray every night that you all may have these nighttime feeding moments, these sweet milky breaths breathing in your ear.  I don't take what I have for granted.  I know I am not promised tomorrow, that I am not promised a healthy life, and that Jack may not always be healthy.  But I am thankful for what I have.

And that I want you all to experience the same.  And I will continue to pray every night that you can.